BORN: Brooklyn, NY
RAISED: Nassau County - Long Island, N.Y.
HEIGHT: 5'10" 
WEIGHT: 175 lbs.
HAIR: Dark Brown/Black
EYES: Hazel

FACTS: As a teenager David was an ice hockey goalie, and spent a season playing for the New York Jr. Islanders. David was one of the most prolific class clowns in the history of the U.S school system. He set his schools freshmen record for suspensions and detention time. David has said his main comedic influences growing up were David Lettermen, Howard Stern and Dennis Miller. All 3 of whom have been trying to distance themselves from David ever since.



DAVID'S OPINIONS:

PEOPLE DAVID DOES NOT LIKE:
Buzz Arfidsen, Angel Parisi, Cathy Juttman, Mike Edwards, The majority of people with the last name Race

PEOPLE WHO'VE BEEN AUTHORIZED TO SEND US PRIVATE NUDE PHOTOS: 
Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Biel, Bar Refaeli, Nicole Scherzinger

PEOPLE WHO SHOULD CONTACT US IF THEY CAN FIRST FIND A "TIME MACHINE":
Marsha Brady (1972 version), Erin Gray (1980 - "Buck Rogers" version), Jane Fonda (1967 "Barbarella" version), Racquel Welch ("10,000 B.C" version), Barbara Eden ("I dream of Jeannie" version) 

THINGS DAVID FEELS SHOULD BE ELIMINATED FROM THE PLANET:
Cilantro, Noise, Bees and Wasps, The people of West Chinook, Illinois 



DAVID HAS APPEARED ON: