Comedian - TV Host - Actor - Voiceover Artist - Radio Personality
Facts and Opinions
David was born in Brooklyn. He was given up for adoption, quickly adopted, and raised on Long Island, N.Y. He is 5' 9 1/2" (5'10" before a haircut), and 175 lbs. As a teenager David was an ice hockey goalie, and spent a season playing for the New York Jr. Islanders. David was one of the most prolific class clowns in the history of the U.S school system. He set his schools freshmen record for suspensions and detention time. David has said his main comedic influences growing up were David Lettermen, Howard Stern and Dennis Miller. All 3 of whom have been trying to distance themselves from David ever since.
DAVID'S OPINIONS:
THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF PEOPLE DAVID DOES NOT LIKE:
Buzz Arfidsen, Angel Parisi, Cathy Juttman, Mike Edwards, The majority of people with the last name Race
THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF PEOPLE DAVID WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH:
Sofia Vergara, Jennifer Aniston, Sung Hi Lee, Jessica Biel, Janet Jones Gretzky (Representatives of these women are invited to contact us to make some type of "dating" arrangement)
THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF PEOPLE DAVID WOULD HAVE HAD SEX WITH MANY YEARS AGO:
Marcia Brady (in 1973), Erin Gray (in 1980 on Buck Rogers show), Jane Fonda (in 1968 as Barbarella), Loren Amato (in High School), Ms. McKenna (9th Grade teacher - whose class David was unfortunately in BEFORE it became "socially acceptable" for teachers to have sex with their students) (Representatives of these women are invited to contact us if they have located a time machine)
THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF THINGS DAVID FEELS SHOULD BE ELIMINATED FROM THE PLANET:
Cilantro, Noise, Bees and Wasps, The people of West Chinook, Illinois
DAVID HAS APPEARED ON:
